I don’t think it is wrong to tell a girl she is pretty or a boy he is handsome. My dad always told the world how beautiful his daughters were. However he also told me I had common sense and supported me when I went to college. My mom taught me a love for books, and many other things that brought me joy.
Most of all though I was given a foundation of who God was and I believe the most important thing we can do for our children and grandchildren is tell them that they are made in the image and likeness of our creator and that he has created them for a purpose that far outweighs anything they could even imagine on their own. I think everyone including girls need to know the purpose of why they are here. God created us to honor and serve and love Him with all of our hearts and He created us so we could reach our fullest potential whether we are a girl or a boy. I think the reason young girls are becoming so obsessed with appearance is because that is the culture they are growing up in. God has been kicked out of the classroom and out of a lot of the homes … and been replaced with media …that displays girls and women as overly sexualized images of what they are supposed to be.
So now showing a little girl an explosive, sincere, genuine moment of joy and affection ignited in our hearts because she simply radiates cuteness or beauty — is destroying her self image and future potential?
That's because heartache is, at least in the speaker's eyes, the most powerful human experience imaginable. There's nothing that can compare to love in its ability to really, truly, and deeply mess your life up. That might not on the surface seem like much comfort, but it is worth noting how love exerts a supreme influence on our lives. It's true that—both for better and for worse—there is absolutely nothing like it.
The smoke of my own breath,
Echoes, ripples, buzz'd whispers, love-root, silk-thread, crotch and vine,
My respiration and inspiration, the beating of my heart, the passing
of blood and air through my lungs,
The sniff of green leaves and dry leaves, and of the shore and
dark-color'd sea-rocks, and of hay in the barn,
The sound of the belch'd words of my voice loos'd to the eddies of
A few light kisses, a few embraces, a reaching around of arms,
The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs wag,
The delight alone or in the rush of the streets, or along the fields
The feeling of health, the full-noon trill, the song of me rising
from bed and meeting the sun.
However, the heart of the matter is made clear in these words,"let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroadupon the face of the whole earth." Already a haunting fearhad set in. They were conscious already of a disruptive influencein their midst, of a centrifugal force that was pushing them apartso they could not live too closely together and which would ultimately,they feared, scatter them abroad and leave them unknown, unhonored,and unsung, living in isolated communities where they would beexposed to great danger. The fear of this caused them to builda tower and a city. The ultimate motive is expressed in thesewords, "let us make a name for ourselves."
I grew up in a highly conservative household (for most of my childhood it consisted of my mom, sister and myself), in a fundamentalist Christian environment. We didn’t have little girls wearing mascara, eyeliner and lipstick *ever*. They didn’t parade their bodies around; it simply would not have been tolerated. Girls were taught to dress modestly, and they were expected to meet academic and athletic performance goals. In fact, 3 girls in my 7th and 8th Grade classes graded all the schoolwork papers of the rest of the class, because they had the highest test scores in the class. Society mocks such a life, but we didn’t have the body image problems you mentioned, either.
The boy I love, the same becomes a man not through derived power,
but in his own right,
Wicked rather than virtuous out of conformity or fear,
Fond of his sweetheart, relishing well his steak,
Unrequited love or a slight cutting him worse than sharp steel cuts,
First-rate to ride, to fight, to hit the bull's eye, to sail a
skiff, to sing a song or play on the banjo,
Preferring scars and the beard and faces pitted with small-pox over
And those well-tann'd to those that keep out of the sun.
Stretch'd and still lies the midnight,
Two great hulls motionless on the breast of the darkness,
Our vessel riddled and slowly sinking, preparations to pass to the
one we have conquer'd,
The captain on the quarter-deck coldly giving his orders through a
countenance white as a sheet,
Near by the corpse of the child that serv'd in the cabin,
The dead face of an old salt with long white hair and carefully
The flames spite of all that can be done flickering aloft and below,
The husky voices of the two or three officers yet fit for duty,
Formless stacks of bodies and bodies by themselves, dabs of flesh
upon the masts and spars,
Cut of cordage, dangle of rigging, slight shock of the soothe of waves,
Black and impassive guns, litter of powder-parcels, strong scent,
A few large stars overhead, silent and mournful shining,
Delicate sniffs of sea-breeze, smells of sedgy grass and fields by
the shore, death-messages given in charge to survivors,
The hiss of the surgeon's knife, the gnawing teeth of his saw,
Wheeze, cluck, swash of falling blood, short wild scream, and long,
dull, tapering groan,
These so, these irretrievable.
The second First-day morning they were brought out in squads and
massacred, it was beautiful early summer,
The work commenced about five o'clock and was over by eight.
I agree to some degree with this article and encouraging the intelligence of young girls. However as one who grew up with having negative body image comments made to me daily by both family members, “friends” schoolmates and strangers, I believe it is absolutely imperative to daily tell children how beautiful and handsome they are. It took me until i was in my 30′s before i was able to look at myself and truly believe i was beautiful and accept my body. I do believe encouraging education and critical thinking and teaching children self confidence in all aspects including love of their bodies. In my opinion excluding any reference to a child’s beauty is a mistake. Children are beautiful/handsome & adorable. The mistake we have made is that we forget to praise them for their bodies, minds, hearts and compassion.
(Only what proves itself to every man and woman is so,
Only what nobody denies is so.)
A minute and a drop of me settle my brain,
I believe the soggy clods shall become lovers and lamps,
And a compend of compends is the meat of a man or woman,
And a summit and flower there is the feeling they have for each other,
And they are to branch boundlessly out of that lesson until it
And until one and all shall delight us, and we them.
Please please be careful. My parents brought us up without pretty hair slides and ribbons, without pretty dresses. We were not told daily that we were beautiful and pretty, but clever and polite. We were encouraged to do well at school, to read, learn to play music and be creative. My parents meant well but my sister and I had terrible self esteem, we believed we did not fit in with our beautiful peers. We felt unloved by our parents, ashamed that we must have been so unattractive, we didn’t not deserve pretty clothes and ribbons. We did not do well at school because we lacked the confidence and self worth. We both became unhealthily preoccupied with our looks. My sister spent a fortune on clothes, having her hair and nails done when she left home. I never feel pretty enough to wear pretty clothes and felt an outcast. It wasn’t until I was in my 30′s and I wanted children that I sought cognitive behavioural therapy. I didn’t want my children to be exposed to my issues. I am now very happy with how I look. I am happily married and have 2 little girls. I tell them every day that they are pretty and beautiful. I tell them they are pretty because when they smile and laugh they brighten up the World and that is what pretty things do. I tell them they are beautiful because they are kind and caring, because they try their best at everything they do. That they are beautiful because they enrich other people lives and that is what beautiful things do. My children are confident and happy and very very much loved.